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Have you ever pondered over the question of what would happen if Tomonobu Itagaki made a mash-up of Ninja Gaiden and Modern Warfare-era Call of Duty, most likely while drunk and working on a PlayStation 2 devkit with a fiver and a pocketful of loose change to bring it all home? Boy does Devil's Third have the answer for you.
It's been half a decade since Devil's Third was announced, initially as a PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 game created by Itagaki's newly-formed Valhalla Game Studios in partnership with the now defunct THQ, and you sense the years haven't been kind. Having passed through different publishers and game engines, the end result lurches close to disaster. I've played a fair few hours of Devil's Third's single-player campaign at this point, and I'm not entirely sure whether this is one of those games that's so bad it's good. I can say with some certainty that it's bad, though.
Devil's Third opens with a prisoner performing a drum solo in Guantanamo Bay, and it spirals downwards from there. This isn't some Kojima-esque examination of the ethics of blacksites - it is, instead, awkward window-dressing for an interminable tale about saving the world. You play as the man spinning those sticks, an angry Russian terrorist named - wait for it - Ivan who's offered a reprieve and then patrols warzones with his nipples bared, the tattoos on his torso glowing like embers as he works through leagues of badmen and, later on, mutants and zombies.
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